In search of satisfaction (part 2)

Saturday 10:41am – a blank post waiting to be filled with words, a mind that just went BLANK! Why did I decide to blog again? Things are busy as it is, will I even find the time after lengthy minutes of a numb mind?

Well, let me re-introduce myself here. I started blogging last year under q8travelbud (if you are an old reader then it’s good to see you again) and I took a looooong break, well to be honest things got busy and I decided to stop blogging period. so what has changed in the past few months? A LOT!

First I am not 30 yet (again for the old readers) but I almost got to do my “before I turn thirty” to-do list and quite excited about it .. I lost over 17kg and completed my first triathlon. so life has been pretty good to me!

Few days ago I had a phone conversation with my friend (hmmmm let me call him Adam since I might be mentioning him often) about life, our lives to be exact.. I am a person that constantly chase satisfaction (call it happiness) in life, which is good if you manage to appreciate the searching process and bad if you can’t (i might have fallen in the latter lately)..Adam is about to embark on a new life (he’s getting married! or technically speaking ‘got’ married) and what can be better than a fresh start and the anticipation of the unknown.. we often have long conversations about life, doubts and stuff.. he told me that he travelled recently to Makkah in hope to sort out his life and he found himself still lost and unable to find answers which might have left him more confused .. in our last conversation he asked me that all the people around him, his friends and family, are living their lives ‘normally’ and it seemed uncomplicated.. is it possible that we (‘figuratively’ pointing the finger at me) are complicating life searching for satisfaction and what not?!

I told him that I believe there are three types of people .. some that are happy, they are satisfied with what they have in life and those are the people I most admire.. then there are those who don’t know how to be happy, life to them might be a check box (highschool done, college done, marriage done, kids done etc..) they live their lives according to rules set by society and people and although they may seem to have checked al the right boxest they are just surrendering to life as it is without the satisfaction of day to day life and those are most of the people my friend Adam was talking about … then there are those who are constantly looking for happiness. Now those people may get lost along the way … they may lose track of life and just keep searching but never really finding satisfaction thus ending up in the ‘unhappy’ category .. and there are those who are still looking but enjoying the process along the way and really ending up finding happiness in the process of it all..

Adam’s questions took me back to a series of questions floating inside my head for a while.. questions that are the birth of day to day experiences and those questions no matter how silly, smart, funny  or inappropriate they may seem they deserve taking a minute to think about.. 

So I guess I’ll allow my friend Adam to ask the very first question: When it comes to life, are we really complicating it by searching for complete satisfaction?


5 Comments on “In search of satisfaction (part 2)”

  1. Adam says:

    Before getting into life answers that have been long overdue, I must say you keep surprising those who know you with your never surrendering spirit.
    Are we complicating life by searching for complete satisfaction? My answer is Yes..unknowingly!
    Let me talk about my share of this..I have been determent for years to search under every rock for what I really want in life and what would lead me to self-satisfaction from all I didn’t want to be another copy of my siblings who seemed to me back then boringly ordinary and with their life cycle check list, they looked hypnotized with no pursuit of any kind for what so ever..Adam decided to be different (or at least I thought I would be!)
    I tried many things (compared to those around me earlier)..The quest for satisfaction and happiness started..on a personal level, I got my own apartment to feel independent..designed my own simple and basic a motorbike..travelled to many places..met a lot of people..started to develop reading habit..lived the life I thought I wanted..on an educational level..enrolled in a master program and other certificates..religion had a share of all that as well..prayed, fasted, visited Makka..
    I can’t recall all I have done in the last few years of my life in few lines..but I know I tried so many things and kept trying to reach happiness and satisfaction..but couldn’t find them..!So I stopped looking now.
    Someone might say I should have tried other kind of things..more things..change my surroundings..but again this is what I came to realize after looking behind and zooming into my inner was not about the satisfaction..I was not looking for happiness, I was “protecting” myself from my fears..i was afraid of commitment of any kind..afraid of being judged..due to my lack of confidence..all that weakness and fear I had was piling up inside of me forming a “shelter” that kept me trapped in..that shelter has become my comfort zone..the safest place to be in..every time I go out there to try something new..someone new..all my weaknesses make me leave that new comer and go back to the shelter..and because my subconscious needs an explanation for not holding on or backing off, my mind was always happily ready to give it by saying..this is not what Adam wants..go find something else..if I look at what my mind is telling me in my case, it will be a never ending attempts to look for something I won’t be able to see!..and even if I come across it at some point (or I guess I already have), I won’t be able to “feel” it and live “long” with it due my fears..
    My friend, I guess my boat is sinking in every cruise I take not because I choice the wrong sea or weather..but because of the holes in it..!
    I need to fix my boat to have a happy journey.

    Have you figured out why your boat is sinking?!

    • moe says:

      Dear Adam,

      Your answer to the question was yes! and my question is: but why?!

      you see.. it seems that you were searching for something else something more tangible like the motorbike a life you wanted to believe would give you satisfaction… but searching for satisfaction does not necessarily means changing your life upside down.. some people are happy to lead what seems to be a boring ordinary life to you .. searching for satisfaction is searching for the life that makes us happy (and that doesn’t mean a 100% picture perfect life) … ask yourself if you would rather be happy or not .. then ask yourself why are you not happy? life is not black or white .. you must be happy with something in your life whether it’s your family, friends, work etc.. try and find out what’s missing….I do believe that sometimes we need to strip away from our surroundings to better understand ourselves .. you need to change your way of thinking, to open up your mind.. don’t look for someone else’s life, look for yours

      As for me, I don’t believe that my boat is sinking .. maybe drifted away from its path a little but definetly not sinking … it’s hard to say that our lives are miserable, then we would be saying it’s not worth living …

      • Adam says:

        I totally agree with what you said about the 100% picture perfect life..and the white and black theory being one of mind’s distorted ways of thinking..sure i want to be happy..that’s every heathly person’s ultimate goal..i can’t say I am miserable in my life..and the sinking boat is sinking but I didn’t give up sailing..i am currently taking sometime onshore to think and fix what may have gone wrong within..I know I will eventually push it back to the sea, but this time with more preparation..when will that happen? am i gonna succeed this time? I dunno..this is for us to figure out during our life’s journey..

        I am glad to know your boat is just drifting away..well said..our life is the best bless we are given..and for that it deserves trying every way to make it a happy one..

  2. Is it really you? I can’t believe I found you after such a long time. Everyone missed you so much! It’s hard to understand how you can have one of the best blogs in Kuwait and then disappear. I know you were really busy but you have a gift of words and taking photographs. Please stick around and keep us from missinig you my friend. xoxo

    • moe says:

      thanks expat .. am glad am back .. unfortunately photographing has been on the down low lately …thanks for thw nice welcome bak 🙂

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